Intro

Hi...I have no idea how this works and I'm nervous as hell about this...soooo...this is going to be pretty pathetic (predictably).
I guess I'll start with a disclaimer (even though I really don't give a shit). I am pro ana, as is this blog. If that's a problem for whatever fucking reason, leave now.
I swear a lot. I'm bisexual. I'm opinionated. I'm pretty much guaranteed to offend you in some way. If that's a problem, leave.
My life is incredibly boring. I do nothing. I have nothing to say. So this will basically be me bitching about the stuff that goes on inside my head. So seriously. If you don't like it, leave now.
Anyway, moving on. I'm 19. I've never had an eating disorder, nor will I ever have one. I haven't been diagnosed with anything ever. But I want to lose weight, and the only method that has ever worked for me is intense restricting. I love anything pro ana. Regular people's opinions of thinspo are always like, really fat. Have you ever noticed that?
Random person: Omg she's so skinny thinspo!
Me: She looks like me. She's a fat fucking cow. Wtf.
That's literally me inside my head whenever the average girl talks about weight. Or they'll be all "Ugh, she's way too thin," and I'm sitting here thinking, "She'd be so pretty if she lost a little more weight..."
Basically, my standards are way beyond your average person's. Ideally, I eat less than your average person (although I tend to binge-ughhhhh) and I think very differently than your average person. Hence I consider myself pro ana. Although I suck at it, hence I use the name "wannabe".
I basically suck at everything I attempt to do. Although other people think I'm good at them, so I'm like, "Okay, whatever. Might as well do shit."
Anywayyyyyyyyy...I don't really have anything else to say. I'm trying to get back into restricting after a long period of trying to be "healthy". So for today I'm at about 360 calories for the day. I have school til 5:00, so I figure no matter what I eat for dinner, as long as I don't eat after dinner I'm safe. We shall see.
Note: I only have internet access at school and work, not at home, so my posts will be sporadic, if anyone cares.
I just realized I've been rambling like crazy and I never really introduced myself. Hi. I'm me. I like music and singing, and I want to be an alternative model (maybe when I lose the weight... *crosses fingers*). I draw and write as well. I write poetry, music, and novels. Anything else there is to know about me, I suppose I'll say in some future post.
So I'm going to abandon this cluster fuck of an intro. I have nothing to say as an exit, so I'll leave this here.

"I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control. I want a perfect body-I want a perfect soul..."