Stats + I suck

Current stats:
Height - 5'4"
Weight - 137
BMI - 23.5
CGW - 130
UGW (for now) - 120

I cannot believe I let myself gain this much. This is ridiculous. How did I ever think I was fat when I weighed 117? Fuck me.

I'll post measurements when I get home if I remember to.

Rules

Just some simple rules to set for myself to stay on track, in no particular order.
1. No eating after 7
2. Stretch morning and night
3. Healthy breakfast every day
4. Limit fast food to 3 times a week (I eat way too much taco bell)
5. Have green tea in the afternoon, especially at work.
6. Take better care of yourself. Shave, skincare, dress nice. Use yourself as inspiration.
7. Drink a glass of water before breakfast every day.
8. Don't sit all day! Get up and move at least once every hour.
9. Work out regularly, even if it's only a little bit.
10. Make more healthy dinners with michael.

I'm a terrible person

So here's the thing. The reason I've returned isn't good (but then, it never is). I'm afraid for my friend. He is a friend of my boyfriend's, and my bf told me that he starves himself. Apparently he eats a piece of toast in the morning but then fasts the rest of the day, until very late at night. He refuses to eat in between. And he has lost 10 pounds in the past month.
I'm worried about him. I want him to be okay, to be happy. But then I use his experience as encouragement. Like, if he can do it, so can I. But that's so wrong! What the hell is wrong with me?

In no particular order...

10 reasons to stop stuffing your fucking face (some personal inspiration)
1. Modeling. You will never model at the size you are now and you know it.
2. To be happy. You'll never be satisfied with your appearance until you lose the weight.
3. Healthier eating habits=better skin
4. Cute clothes
5. Because you don't want to be a big little girl. You want to be little for Daddy (if anyone is reading, this is about Daddy Dom, not my literal father)
6. Smaller waist=bigger butt
7. Smaller waist=bigger chest
8. To get the tattoos
9. Slimmer face=prettier face.
10. To finally have control

I'm back + new goals

I am tired of being unhappy with my appearance. My weight is the same it's always been, my skin is terrible, my hair is a mess. I need to get control of myself. I'm pathetic.
I've been using an app to track my intake and exercise, but it's not enough. Im not going to jump in too quickly though. For now, I'm just going to add in a few things at a time. My first step is to get back into drinking TONS of water. I used to be really good about that, but not so much anymore. And I'll pay more attention to what I'm eating, in addition to his much. I'm not going to worry about exercise for the moment, because it's hotter than Satan's ball sack right now. I'll work on my current goals for a few weeks, then add more. Other goals is to take better care of my skin. I'm training to be a makeup artist, which means constant practice. I really need a better skincare routine. That's all for now.
I guess I'm done for the moment. We'll see how this goes.

I'm leaving

I need to get away from this before it consumes and destroys me. I need to start taking care of myself before this brief moment of sanity is gone and it's too late. I am fine the way I am, and I want to be healthy. I don't want to be depressed anymore, and I don't want to starve. So I'm going to focus on taking care of myself. I wish you all the best.

Thinspo-Black and white

I just used the rest of my black and white pics, and they ended up being all legs! I'll look for more variety next time. But hey, legs are nice.