Denial

I can't imagine what it must feel like to feel free in your own body. To not feel as if your body is a shell you don't fit in, or a cage holding you captive. What does it feel like to not want to rip your own skin off until you can breathe? To not ever think about shedding your skin and finally being comfortable?
I feel like I've wasted 20 years of my life, and every second I spend in this lie is a waste of time when I could be living as myself.
But I cant. It's just not an option.
So I go back in denial.
And in the closet.